When a couple finds that their needs are incompatible, and that separation is the best way for each of them to continue their personal growth, they often choose to legally divorce.  I work as a coach with the couple, and as part of a legal and financial team to help them navigate the process of dissolution. 

The Collaborative Law Process is a bold new alternative to adversarial divorce. Separation is a painful process, and the team of collaborative professionals can assist the couple in making decisions that will be of the maximum benefit for all involved, especially the children. 

The goals of Collaborative Law are:

• To help the parties communicate calmly with each other and express needs, interests and emotions appropriately
• To ask questions, help the parties hear each other, and offer creative and workable alternatives
• To provide a safe place and organized framework for the parties to discuss each issue and reach agreement
• To prepare and file all written paperwork for the court

As the collaborative mental health professional, I bring to the process the ability to help clients work past psychological issues that may hinder their progress. With my help, both spouses and their attorneys can anticipate potential emotional roadblocks and make the process smoother for all parties concerned. 

I can meet with both spouses individually or together.  I prefer to be involved in the meetings with the attorneys from the beginning.  However, if you find that you are in need of emotional support and facilitation at any point in the process, I would be glad to join the team.

For more information on collaborative law and the role of the mental health professional as a coach, see the Western New York Collaborative Law Attorney website, http://www.nycollaborativelaw.com.  Also, see Pauline Tessler’s Handbook for Clients, on the Resources page.